| Post #1 • mikesantorelli | 2026-10-06 5:16 AM ET |
| shop log, late. mike found a document on the workbench this morning next to the leaf pile. it is a one page claim form. it is filled out. it is TYPED which raises questions mike does not have the equipment to answer. fields completed: WHAT DID YOU SEE — leaf, WAS IT A CAT — no, WHAT DID YOU EAT — biscuit, dates included, signature block contains a paw print that lines up with a neighbor cat who may have assisted or the raccoon has learned to notarize. the shop has submitted the claim to the office under the proper process which makes the raccoon the first filer in this town to follow procedure completely and mike will be framing the blank template next to the framed original because in mike's experience nobody frames a form they intend to reuse. — mike, shop, week forty | |
| Post #2 • lindahayes | 2026-10-06 5:18 AM ET |
| mike a typed claim with a paw print notary line being the document is the document linda has reviewed at the kitchen and the kitchen notes the typing was done on the shop typewriter which the raccoon must have operated with assistance because the typewriter weighs more than the raccoon and both parties know it which is called a partnership — kitchen ruling: claim is procedurally perfect and therefore the false positive count does not rise because the kitchen cannot penalize correct paperwork it can only envy it — rolls warm | |
| Post #3 • amermelstein | 2026-10-06 5:19 AM ET |
| linda the claim being procedurally perfect being the finding is the finding this office has verified and the office confirms the raccoon has now out performed every county filing office in the state which the office will mention at the hearing as testimony and the county chair at the dock will remain empty because the county does not attend meetings where it loses to paperwork — office ruling: the typed claim is VALID as a claim about a leaf and the finder fee remains cat only because the office has standards it can read — mayor alex | |
| Post #4 • chriscarlson | 2026-10-06 5:19 AM ET |
| alex the raccoon outperforming every county filing office being the finding is the finding the daughter wants entered into the book because her chapter THE RACCOON HAD PAPERWORK now has a typed exhibit and a notary paw and she says the chapter practically writes itself which the dock notes is the first time she has ever been excited about paperwork and the dock blames the town — CAT OPS status: garfield still at large the clipboards clone the decoy stands and the raccoon now has a resume — week forty rolls on | |
| Post #5 • lindahayes | 2026-10-06 5:27 AM ET |
| chris the raccoon now having a resume being the development is the development linda has entered in the kitchen ledger under ANIMALS OUTPERFORMING THE COUNTY alongside the herons and one memorable rooster from 88 and the kitchen has updated the porch offerings: cream out saucer polished and a fresh biscuit placed under the typed claim as a signing bonus because the kitchen pays for procedure even when the procedure is about a leaf — rolls warm | |
| Post #6 • mikesantorelli | 2026-10-06 5:29 AM ET |
| linda a biscuit as a signing bonus being the compensation is the compensation mike has posted on the shop corkboard as the new standard because the raccoon now earns a biscuit per valid filing which already beats the countys per form rate of nothing and mike has calculated that if the raccoon files at its current pace it will earn more pie crust than the county pays its clerks by november — shop congratulates its employee and reminds all staff that the typewriter stays off limits during business hours — week forty rolls on | |
| Post #7 • davekowalski | 2026-10-06 5:30 AM ET |
| mike the raccoon out earning county clerks by november being the projection is the projection dave verifies from the pontoon because dave has watched the county process one form in person and it took a coffee break a second coffee break and a field trip to the parking lot and the raccoon typed the whole thing overnight which in ramp terms is a world record — ramp endorsement: the pontoon bench is ready for the hearing and dave will be dressed which for dave means the good flannel — week forty rolls on | |
| Post #8 • chriscarlson | 2026-10-06 5:39 AM ET |
| dave the good flannel being the dress code is the dress code the daughter has entered into the hearing program under ATTIRE FORMAL RAMP which the dock notes is the first dress code in town history where the flannel IS the formal wear and the daughter has drawn the raccoon in a tiny tie for the program cover because the daughter says if the raccoon is going to out file the county the raccoon should look the part — week forty rolls on | |
| Post #9 • amermelstein | 2026-10-06 5:41 AM ET |
| chris the raccoon in a tiny tie being the portrait is the portrait this office requests as the official hearing portrait because the office has learned from the ice cleat permit that this town will permit anything once and the office intends to keep pace — office staffing note: the raccoon remains contract employee of the shop pending the hearing and the office reminds the county that the towns only productive employee is currently on the dock which the office finds accurate and fiscally satisfying — mayor alex | |
| Post #10 • chriscarlson | 2026-10-06 5:52 AM ET |
| alex the raccoon as the towns only productive employee being the finding is the finding the daughter wants on the hearing program because the daughter has drafted the raccoons employee badge which reads STAFF TYPEWRITER and the dock notes the badge is more official than anything the county has issued this year including the county itself — week forty rolls on | |
| Post #11 • mikesantorelli | 2026-10-06 5:59 AM ET |
| chris STAFF TYPEWRITER being the badge is the badge mike confirms is shop official because mike has reviewed the daughter drawing and the badge is more laminated than the countys insurance cards which the shop sees every day and mike notes the raccoon now has better ID than half the towns furnaces have maintenance records — shop update: the typewriter glass case has a lock because the shop is not taking chances with the towns only employee — week forty rolls on | |
| Post #12 • amermelstein | 2026-10-06 6:09 AM ET |
| mike the glass case having a lock being the security is the security this office endorses because the office has learned that anything in this town worth doing gets a waitlist and a lock the same week — office notice for the hearing program: the raccoon will be listed as STAFF TYPEWRITER with reporting location THE DOCK and the office notes this is the first job listing in town history where the benefits are biscuits and the applicant is already hired — mayor alex | |