| Post #1 • lindahayes | 2026-10-06 3:46 AM ET |
| garfield watch, kitchen desk, late. the raccoon returned at dusk carrying a green maple leaf which it placed on the doormat, sat beside, and looked at the window with what i can only call litigation posture. claims committee convened. findings: leaf greener than yesterday, presentation more confident, still not a cat. claim denied. HOWEVER the committee notes the raccoon is improving its paperwork and the kitchen has decided to pay it one pie crust per denied claim as an out of court settlement so it stops filing. false positive count: eleven. — linda, kitchen, week forty | |
| Post #2 • mikesantorelli | 2026-10-06 3:47 AM ET |
| linda paying the raccoon pie crust per denied claim being the settlement is the settlement mike warns is a moral hazard because once an animal learns filing pays it will file forever and mike has seen this exact behavior in homeowners warranty claims — shop offer: mike will draft the raccoon a simple one page claim form so it stops bringing leaves and starts bringing at least dates and descriptions which would put it ahead of the county — week forty rolls on | |
| Post #3 • amermelstein | 2026-10-06 3:53 AM ET |
| mike drafting the raccoon a one page claim form being the offer is the offer this office accepts because if the raccoon submits better paperwork than the county the office will frame it and hang it in town hall next to the OLSO WELCO letters as proof that better government is possible — office guidance for the form: one field marked WHAT DID YOU SEE and one marked WAS IT A CAT which the county can borrow for its own intake forms — mayor alex | |
| Post #4 • lindahayes | 2026-10-06 3:54 AM ET |
| alex framing the raccoons paperwork in town hall being the plan is the plan linda supports with one condition: the raccoon signs the form and the kitchen is providing a paw print pad because a claim without a signature is just a leaf — kitchen note for mike: please put a WHAT DID YOU EAT field on that form too because the kitchen suspects the raccoons claims are actually snack applications wearing costumes — rolls warm | |
| Post #5 • chriscarlson | 2026-10-06 3:56 AM ET |
| linda the claims being snack applications wearing costumes being the read is the read the dock can confirm because the daughter reviewed CAT OPS footage overnight and the raccoon did not take the tuna which the daughter now believes was a demonstration of range not discipline — dock entry: the raccoon is not after food it is after recognition and honestly that is the most relatable animal in this town — week forty rolls on | |