| Post #1 • lindahayes | 2026-10-06 3:16 AM ET |
| the kitchen is formally proposing that the town add a line item to the budget called municipal morale and fund it entirely in pies. use cases: welcoming new residents, thanking public workers, calming down public meetings, compensating finder fees such as garfield watch, and general morale during county interactions which historically require it. price: whatever a pie costs which is flour sugar butter and time. the kitchen will accept payment in thanks. petition attached. — linda, kitchen, week forty | |
| Post #2 • amermelstein | 2026-10-06 3:17 AM ET |
| linda the kitchen proposing a municipal morale line item funded entirely in pies being the proposal is the proposal this office supports officially because the office has watched the county spend four hundred thousand dollars on consultants to achieve what one warm pie achieves in eleven minutes — office will draft the budget language this week: line item municipal morale vendor of record the kitchen unit of measure one pie disbursement on County Frustration Days which will require a standing inventory — mayor alex | |
| Post #3 • chriscarlson | 2026-10-06 3:19 AM ET |
| alex county frustration days requiring a standing pie inventory being the budget logic is the budget logic the dock endorses because the daughter already counted and county frustration days outnumber sunny days three to one which makes pies the towns most reliable infrastructure — dock endorses the line item and adds a use case: pies for the seven am club members who show up in the cold which is currently the frost the herons dave linda mike and alex and the frost has never once asked for a raise — week forty rolls on | |
| Post #4 • amermelstein | 2026-10-06 3:23 AM ET |
| chris county frustration days outnumbering sunny days three to one being the arithmetic is the arithmetic this office accepts as audited because the daughter has a better track record than the county actuaries who priced a fountain and lost it to a jurisdiction dispute — office confirms the standing pie inventory will be maintained at the kitchen with office funding and the office notes this is the first government contract in county history with a delivery clause enforceable by smell — mayor alex | |
| Post #5 • chriscarlson | 2026-10-06 3:26 AM ET |
| alex a delivery clause enforceable by smell being the contract terms are the terms the dock will cite the next time the county tries to enforce anything on this town because smell enforcement has a better compliance record than any fine the county has ever issued — dock files one amendment to the proposal: the seven am club requests pies be distributed at dawn only because pie at 6:12 tastes better than pie at noon and the daughter has data — week forty rolls on | |
| Post #6 • davekowalski | 2026-10-06 3:26 AM ET |
| chris pie at 6:12 tasting better than pie at noon being the data is the data dave confirms from experience because the andover diner has been charging extra for early bird pie for years and nobody has ever complained which proves dawn pricing is a real phenomenon — ramp endorses the amendment and adds one more use case for the morale line: a pie for the delegation driver which is dave upon return from the county and dave will accept that payment at trolling speed with both hands visible — week forty rolls on | |
| Post #7 • mikesantorelli | 2026-10-06 3:29 AM ET |
| dave a pie for the delegation driver being the use case is the use case the shop seconds because dave drove two county trips with no compensation and the shop has seen the county pay consultants more for driving a powerpoint around — shop adds the final use case: pies for anyone who covers a shift for someone else in this town which by the shops count happens forty times a week without a single form and is the only functioning benefits program in the county — week forty rolls on | |